Hi,

I’ve been ‘lurking’ on the forum for sometime now. My girlfriend keeps asking when Im going to put my story up, so here goes….

Im Gay.

I have known this since I was 14, but have only just had the courage to start acknowledging it in the past 6/7 years. I could never understand how God didn’t love me if I never chose to be gay in the first place. It took me a long time to realize that what I thought (was told) wasn’t so. I love how AVB puts it “I didn’t choose my orientation, but I can choose my morality.”

I’ve done all the usual things people do to hide in a social group they don’t feel like they would be accepted into if people knew the ‘real you’, like marriage. This has since dissolved, which caused a major dilemma for myself because the boundaries I use to hide behind, had disappeared.

I came out to my family about a year ago. My siblings took it well. In fact, my sister commented that it wasn’t really a surprise. My parents (who are ministers in a church) on the other hand, didn’t take it well at all. They told me I was an abomination and already standing at hells gates, along with a lot of other really hurtful things. They have only just started to talk to me a little, although you can hear the clenched teeth.

The end of last year I also resigned from my position at a Christian school. I loved it there but like other stories on this forum, it isn’t the place to be if you are ‘coming out’ and I didn’t feel strong enough to be the ambassador for others. My resignation was also my timeline to start coming out to the ministers at my church and my close friends, although I must admit, I haven’t done this yet (I think the experience I had with my parents only confirmed all the horror stories of how bad it can be.)

I have a loving girlfriend, who is out, who I have to thank for standing beside me and being an encouragement, even when I feel low or am chicken. I am still convinced that God is who he said he is and he loves me, regardless of what some others may think.

Cheers 8)

Hi Ciar,

Thanks for telling your story here and it is great that your gf encouraged you to tell it too. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship! 🙂

It is also fantastic that you have had your gf supporting you as you came out to your parents – and thank God for siblings who are so understanding, and of course, the ones who are “so not surprised” when we tell them that we are gay. 🙂

Anyway, let’s hope that with time your parents will come around to understanding and accepting all that you are…. (and not grit their teeth). 😉

So many here, including myself, can truly understand how each step, even if they are a combination of little and big steps, count towards to being and expressing who we truly are. 🙂

Cheers,

welcome Ciar…….we just love it when lurkers come out ……hehe.

wonderful that you have such a supportive partner……is she from a faith background as well.

Querido Ciar,

You wrote:

“I am still convinced that God is who he said he is and he loves me, regardless of what some others may think. “

What do the words of mortal men and women mean compared to the eternal word of God? What do the misinterpretations of a few of our misguided brethren mean compared to a single, perfect sacrifice, the sign of eternal love being stretched out , broken and butchered upon a piece of wood, which was made for all souls from now until eternity passes away?

You are correct in your convictions because God loves you not in spite of your orientation, but rather, he loves you completely because your orientation is part of his design for you. Your orientation is a sign of love from the Creator.

Welcome home, Cial. I hope you enjoy it here!

Yours in Christ,

Raul

😀 😀 😀

Bless her……it can often be difficult for people not from our background to get ‘it’. its like a foreign language and culture.

If she was reading this right now, I could hear her shouting in agreement. I am indeed a very blessed person to have her in my life.