Anthony,

That is a study I would be very interested in. I have two younger brothers. We are each 2 years appart. I am the oldest, the midle brother, was the one who has struggled with homosexuality. My youngest brother is completely straight.

If I could only convince them to participate. Like I said, I am the only one in my family that has changed his views on being gay. Even though one of my brothers has struggled with homosexuality himself, even had a boyfriend, he is absolutely convinced that his desires and attractions to men are wrong and not from God. That he is waging a spiritual battle. Hmmm. Sound familiar????? In fact, he is engaged to be married this June. Like i said in my story, we both chose two completly different paths. I have just been down the one he is on right now and I pray for his happiness. I really hope he is getting married for the right reasons.

Thanks Luke!

Ive been meaning to post a comment under your story. Ive been trying to read everyones posts. There sure is a lot!!! I related to your story the most. Your exactly right, as long as I stayed super busy with church activities, and friends, ect, I didnt have to face the “giant” that kept on getting larger and larger.

If you dont mind my asking, how is your family taking you being out of the closet? If I remember correctly you said your entire family was Christian even your extended family. Thats one of my biggest issues right now. My family refuses to accept the fact that Im gay, that I have a partner. They are just “waiting out the storm” thinking I will eventually come to my senses and snap out of it. 😡

So frustrating!

John,

Your story touches my heart…..I ALSO “came out to myself” in Japan…and I was there as a Pentecostal Missionary! I am married with 3 children and I still attend and am very active in a pentecostal church that is loving and full of love. I am still in the closet there but it is my GOAL to help bridge the gap between gays and pentecostal Christians. I am now actively associating with gays in my community. And this MUST involve my family. It is taking time but things are happening! e.g. my wife and son now go to my gay hairdresser and love him, and I am reaching out to gay guys whenever and wherever I can. I will be attending a seminar in Sydney in April and intend to meet as many of my type of gay friends there as I can in my ten days away from NZ! Most gay “christians” I have met since I came out to myself have been at best CYNICAL and cold towards the Church and at worst have grown to hate God! I want to help and befriend more of these people. Like you I long for true worship and long for my gay friends to come into a knowledge of the love of the true God, or for those who have moved away from Him to come back to His love! John, in Hawai’i I want to be your friend too. If you ever come to NZ you will be most welcome to stay! We are truly ‘lost sheep” who are still VERY WELCOME in God’s fold! I have come to the position that I not only accept I am gay but I am proud to be and glad God allowed me to see this.

Love

Denis

Yeah and as far as my experience goes… They didn’t even have to treat me bad or call me names or stare at me weird… shucks… i was dating the pastors daughter… I was golden… and in the closet… that’s the thing that hurt me the most. hearing the perspective of good christian people down talking and condescending upon and condenming a homosexual lifestile… that if they just knew that one part of who i was what i felt inside… that they would turn away from me and cast me away… drop our friendship and fellowship like a hot potato… knowing that is what hurt my heart the most. it would have been great to know that there was a person in that croud that was willing to listen and not condemn and be a friend… who knows… life may have taken a vastly different course had that happened.

Hi Robert!

I love that quote! Its so true! 😉 I really think that there is going to be a true revival that is going to sweep through our community. We just have to keep on combating this mindset that gay people are “sick” or “have something wrong” It is so sad how homophobic the church has been. No wonder the gay community is so hostile towards the church. Its how they have been treated all along. 😥 Its places like this that offer up some hope and understanding though. 😉

Im glad I ‘came out’ when I did! I could have probably lived like that for years, but I could see the inevitable end and I had to do something. I thought, get out of my maraige now, before the kids, and the mortgage and the two cars and all that, and start down the road that I should have been on in the first place. Its the best move I made, my ex wife is already re-married and I am with the love of my life, and we are still in our mid 20’s. I guess thats still pretty young. One of the things I really want to do is help other struggling people just like me, if I could help prevent someone from making the same mistakes I made and save them from all that pain, then all my struggles would be worth it. Thats why I wanted to share my story. I wish I could have come accross a website like this and read a story such as mine or so many other people’s on here 5 years ago!! I cant imagine how different my life would be.