Thank you Ian for sharing your life with others and myself.

I thank you for the reminder:

“just as I am without one plea,

…I come”

I asked God why he had “left me”, but Jesus gave me an answer and said that I left Him, it has taken me awhile to come back to Him. Your story gives me Hope.

Peter from Perth.

Hi Ian

I can relate to how you feel very much. What you said has helped me. I haven’t come out and probably never will given my situation.

Your reference to “Just as I am” was good. I had never honestly thought of it that way. I appreciated that. The verse that resonates with me is

Just as I am – though tossed about

With many a conflict, many a doubt,

Fightings and fears within, without,

O Lamb of God, I come.

but then I love this one

Just as I am – Thy love unknown

Has broken every barrier down;

Now to be Thine, yea, Thine alone,

O Lamb of God, I come

May the Lord continue to be very real to you each day and I will pray the Lord will open up the way for you to reconnect with your children.

Many thanks for sharing

I received a short text message from one of my kids at Christmas, in response to a message I sent him. And I received an email from another son, with a birthday request. I was so thrilled to receive these small messages.

I’ve recently written to my ex-wife. Amongst other things, I’ve written:

The past 18 months have not been all plain sailing for me. I am now coming to a point where I can feel some level of acceptance of myself, have greater understanding of the past and confidence in the future.

I did not choose to be gay; overwhelming evidence supports this view, and even the Christian organisations that run ‘ex-Gay’ programs or reparative therapy admit that they are unable to change sexual orientation. I have now come to understand that God loves and accepts all of me- even the gay bits.

I now understand the sense of being a failure that has dogged me throughout my life- something that I could never put a finger on, for which I could never identify a cause, or overcome. I spent years denying who I am, not having personal integrity and hiding thoughts, attitudes and behaviours. I continue to discover meaning in past events, that I didn’t understand previously.

In the church, I thought I was alone. I believed wrong things about me- and struggled. I didn’t think it was possible to be Christian and gay- but I have since discovered that there are many Christians who are gay, and Baptist, Salvation Army and Pentecostal Churches that are accepting and affirming.

But that doesn’t lessen the pain that I’ve caused you and the children. And the pain has been greater than it needed to be; I wasn’t prepared to deal with events and I didn’t explain myself well enough to you or the children. You are now left trying to come to grips with all that by yourselves rather than through interaction with me. I didn’t make wise choices; I didn’t see any alternative. I now know gay couples who have children, others who are divorced and maintain good relationships with their children and gay teenagers and early 20s who are out, in mainstream churches and all of these people indistinguishable from any people that you might meet in church or a home group. I’ve met their children and their parents and see how meaningful relationships can be (re)established and maintained.

well written Ian

Like you I have some regrets about the way I handled things when I left my marriage and family. Unfortunately we can’t turn back the hands of time and do it all again with the benefit of experience. I’m assuming that possilby you were in the same situation I was……I had no one to talk to who really understood.

I now coach gay men and lesbians who are in heterosexual marriages sort things out. Usually with that support and addiitional insights they have much better outcomes.

I think we have a great challenge eh Ian….to reach those closeted in the churches and also those who have left…..both of these two groups possibly fear contacting us. One will be challenged about thier sexuality which they are trying to suppress and deny……and the other challenged by what they might have done with the previous belief system…..suppressed and denied maybe.