Hi everyone. This is my first topic on this forum which I joined this morning. I was a married man with two beautiful children but I was attracted to a man who I have lived with for the past 12 years. We have had a great relationship and been the best of friends. He has decided to go and find himelf? moving away from me and my love and care. This has hurt me and it hurts me more when he tells me he still loves me to death and always will do? However he has no intentions of us reuniting at this stage. It is messing with my mind as I love him dearly and just wish that we could turn the clock back and find out where it all went wrong. I am an active christian and he is not. That has worked for us as he has supported me in my ministry. I have not come out and neither has he. We are considered to have an emotional relationship and that i should be happy that he is moving on and doing something else with his life. I am so confused and would appreciate some feedback and support. My daughter has been so supportive of me but it is almost too much for her now as she recently was married. 🙁

IThanks Meg. I guess we all just need support when we go through these times and I do have a lot but none that really understand. 12 years is a long time the trow at the wind and I cant decide whether to make it conditional or not?

I had a laugh at you visiting the AOG. They are all nice people, somewhat narrow in their thinking but basically good christian folk. I was there for years like Tony. If I saw my life on a graph years ago I may have never wanted to navigate the road as it has bought a lot of pain. However I have had a great life and am a fun person to be with. All my friends are younger, a lot younger so I have maintained my youthfulness. My daughter adores me!!!!! I am a musician working full time in the industry.

Thanks again Meg for your encouragement.

my heart goes out to you duronimo

it is never easy

my life experience has shown me what avb has said is very true

what will happen. will he come back to you??? who knows!!!

one thing i do know – cry when we need to cry

be brave when we need to be brave

as time goes on sometimes we want to cry and fall into the heap we have in the past but something tells us not to – listen to that – because strength must come for us to not just survive but win/overcome

that does not mean we stop hurting or feeling, it just means we are not allowing it to beat us (grief must be allowed to do its thing, but sometimes people can become slaves to it when they need not)

with or without our partner life is meant to be lived

that is what jesus was/is all about

and ……. i say this for any situation, it does not mean they wont come back, they may but we still experience the grief regardless but can overcome

my prayers and thoughts are with you

this has been pasted from another thread by avb to continue on duronimo’s story

Hi everyone again.

I am trying so hard to deal with the inevitable pain of my breakup from my partner of 12 years. He is still here with me and says he doesnt understand why he is doing this. He wants me to climb into bed with him, sits on the lounge at night stroking my arm and is trying to be affectionate. That is as far as it goes tho. Of course this sends mixed messages to me.

However the reason for my writing is this. I spent most of my life in the AOG so speaking in tongues was a weapon that i used often to build myself up and strengthen my faith. When i feel despair coming on I start to speak in tongues still. Isnt it wonderful that even tho we are “doomed to Hell” God does not take away a thing from us!! I wont quote scriptures here. His strength is still made perfect in our weakness, and at times I feel like I am going to die. I think they call it Panic attacks? Anyway there it is for what it is worth to anyone.

duronimo

duronimo

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:39 pm

Oh man life is shit here right now. i am having a really bad day trying to organize my life as he is starting his new job on the 11th of next month in Melbourne. Says again today that he more than cares for me, he really loves me but we need a break? Wants me to hug him but I am just so hurt and told him that I just dont understand to which he says Im so sorry.

IanJ

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:53 pm Post subject: really, really hard Reply with quote Edit/Delete this post Delete this post View IP address of poster

Sounds like you’re having a really, really hard time. Is there anyone you can talk to? Vent with? I can keep writing comments on here- and I’m willing to do that. And others probably will too- but it isn’t the same as having someone there with you.

Ian

duronimo

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 9:02 pm Post subject: thanks Ian

Yes i do have a lot of friends but I reckon they are tired of hearing my story! The things that have been said to me are terrible and I still have the guy living here in the house. Tony has been great and I think his last comment to me made a lot of sense. He siad that I have been and are being disempowered. I have to take back the power.

I would just love someone to take me out for coffee but no one seems to realise that can help.

Hey Ill get through this mess and hopefully not look back. Thanks again.

the_shane

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:40 pm

Sorry to hear about this situation. Is there anyway to join him when he makes the move? Make sure you also speak from your heart, and it’s true that in such lonely times all you want is someone to sit with you and just listen. I hope someone notices and does just that. I’ve found through experience that alot of friendships and relationships are one sided, but it’s great having a place like this in case there really is someone there who will listen.