Welcome Rainbow Girl…..Its been quite a journey hasn't it.

Even though this has been relatively quick I know it has also been strategically thought out and support mechanisms in place for you and your husband which is important.

I look forward to hearing the developments.

BTW I am not sure if you realise it or not but there is someone on this thread who lives in the same country/city as you I believe. As our No.1 Guideline is freedom2b is a safe place. That means you are welcome and we will do all we can to respect your rights which, if you choose, include your anonymity. it would be inappropriate for me to reveal that………but they may send you a private message and let you know if they'd feel comfortable with that. Who knows you may have already met them.

thinking of you all.

Anthony Venn-Brown

LGBT Consultant and professional coach, working with gay, lesbian, bisexual clients and those questioning their sexual identity

Strategic Coming Out – Married & Gay – Faith Sexuality Conflict – Living Authentically

Author of 'A Life of Unlearning – A Journey to Find the Truth'

Co-founder of Freedom 2 b[e]

glad you have connected with her. Will email you personally.

I really admire you and can relate well to how you are feeling. I hope your coming out to your husband goes well. Maybe writing it out might help to sort out in your own mind what you really want to say. It's taken you quite a while to accept yourself and in many ways the ones you come out to have their own "coming out" process to go through. This usually takes some time. I can relate to your desire to tell everyone, but as Mother Hen has said, it is wise to take your time and decide who needs to know. Coming out one at a time is a good idea, especially if it doesn't go well. Giving something in writing to those close to you has the added benefit of giving them something to read again later when their emotions are more settled.

I am even more senior 🙂 and only started to come out a year ago, although I came out to my wife over 40 years ago and she has supported me all this time. We are still married after 41 years. I am not sexually active in order to keep the wedding vows I made. She is fairly severely disabled now and I am her carer. I will never leave her. Saying good-bye to the gay man I could have been was really difficult.

There are some wonderful people here who will try to support you and we hope the process goes well.

David

Hi Rainbow Girl

Your story so resonates with me. Like you I believed I was a straight supporter always defending gay people. My church background prevented me recognising who I was and like you, when I look back, all the indications were there, but I always denied them.

Then someone I knew who had been from my church came out. That hit me like a sledge hammer – I knew I was the same.

It was a very lonely experience to start with. I didn't know any gay or lesbian people (of course I did but I wasn't aware). When I eventually connected with other gay people it was so liberating.

I had never understood why my marriage wasn't what it should have been until I understood my sexuality. Now it all makes sense.

I came out to my wife earlier this year. That was the hardest part. None of this is her fault but she has to go through a marriage breakup because of who I am. It takes a lot of courage to tell your spouse and it will take time for them to process things just like it has you. They just start later but they have to take the journey too.

I found that a Christian psychologist was a huge help to both of us – understanding the emotional journey both have to go through, explaining what to expect and how best to cope.

I found Freedom 2b a marvellous support. Meeting with other people with Christian backgrounds who are also gay and lesbian and understand our experience was so good. Christianity and homosexuality are compatible as you have discovered.

God bless

all going reasonably well it seems rainbow girl…..as best as could be expected considering the circumstances and the implications for everyone with your disclosure.