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20 Gay, Christian. Just wanting acceptance.

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jess-93
 
Joined in 2013
June 4, 2013, 14:22

How is everyone dealing with the judgement that comes from many Christians and churches? I am struggling.


I have been Christian for as long as I remember, despite growing up in a non-religious family. I've also known that I was gay from a young age. I just want to be accepted for who I am. Be accepted by the church. Not just a special gay-accepting church. I have nothing against these churches at all, I just want to know that I'm accepted by more than just a few. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much, but it does.


I've never been a long-term church-goer. Just kind of go to a place a couple times, then try others, then just give up completely. Here I am looking online at the churches in my area and all I find is hatred and judgement by 'Christians'. Some are not knowledgeable about homosexuality, and just express their unbacked opinions. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with, is those who deny fact. It is fact that most (maybe all?) people do not CHOOSE homosexuality. I know I certainly didn't wake up one day and decide that my life was too easy, so I'll just complicate it a bit for some interest. It just happened. I liked girls before I knew it was possible! I actually thought there was something seriously wrong with me, because I didn't know this could happen. Not only that, but the whole conversion thing. It just doesn't work most of the time, and has some very harmful effects.


If homosexuality is a sin, then I'm a sinner. But so is everybody else. Everyone sins. I just think that this is how I was made. Partly genetic, and partly the result of my experience. Either way, I cannot change it, and wouldn't God want us to be true to ourselves? It's not like I'm going down the path of evil! I want follow Jesus to the absolute best of my ability.


So here I am, looking for a church in my area so that I can learn more and improve myself as a Christian, and I find is judgement.


Should I go to a church and risk rejection (and possibly give up on church again), or should I travel at least an hour to go to a gay-accepting church that numerous Christians say are 'sinful'? I don't think that they are sinful, but I've never been. I'm assuming it'd just be a normal Christian church, that accepts gay people, as opposed to a gay Christian church. Does anyone have any experience with these churches?


I just want to go to a church in my area. I feel like I won't be accepted by the non-gay churches. Christians aren't meant to be judgemental or unloving, but some of the comments, and reports you see are… so hard to handle.


I don't think anyone should feel like they aren't accepted in God's church…

Mother Hen
 
Joined in 2011
June 4, 2013, 17:09

Hi Jess-93,


You are very welcome and accepted here. It's tough in churches, there is some softening and more and more Christian's are accepting Gay people. It a long way to go but it's happening slowly. If you haven't done already, read the stories on this web site, so many have also struggled with the church. Their stories will bring you courage, strength and hope.


Some people are born to rock the boat and make change. They can stand up and take whatever people throw at them. Not all of us a like that. You have to do what is right for you. If it's easier emotionally to go to the Gay accepting church an hour away rather than the local church where you feel unaccepted and unwanted then you do what you have to do.


What city are you in? There are F2B chapters in several big cities now, maybe you could go along to one, they are a friendly bunch of people. Maybe contact Michelle the President of F2B and she might be able to put you in touch with some F2Bers in your area.


You are perfect and loved just the way you are 🙂

jess-93
 
Joined in 2013
June 4, 2013, 17:51

Thanks Mother Hen.


I have looked through a few stories of people's lives. It's good to know that I'm not the only one, and that others have resolved the issue of faith and sexuality. It's just very discouraging trying to look for a church, and then having all this judgement around. I think I should go to the gay-accepting church. See what it's like.


There is a Freedom2b meeting place in my city. Maybe I'll see what it's like after I tackle (not literally!) the church :p


I suppose there's always someone who's going to have a problem with me, whether it be for a justifiable reason, or because I'm different. No-one is liked by everyone 🙂


Thanks again!

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
June 4, 2013, 18:36

Hi Jess-93

It's great to have you here and thanks for sharing some of your story. 🙂

Some of the people at the f2b chapter may be able to suggest churches in your area to try. You can also send myself or Michelle a private message if you need more information.

Like Mother Hen said, there has been a softening and things are slowly changing for the better with more churches accepting the LGBTI community. I know of churches in various places in Australia who warmly welcome LGBTI people without trying to change them and they are not gay churches as such. So there is hope and the more supports you have around you, the more hopeful things become.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

Blessings,

Ann Maree



Sophia Chokhmah
 
Joined in 2011
June 4, 2013, 19:24

Hi Jess, try searching Anthony Venn-Brown as a start 🙂 http://lgbttraining.blogspot.com.au/p/lgbt-people-of-faith.html

Michelle
President
Joined in 2008
June 4, 2013, 21:26

Hi Jess

Welcome to freedom2b and thanks for sharing your story with us 🙂

There are benefits to attending a 'gay' church (I went to one for a little while) your sexuality is certainly not an issue! There are also some great churches that are welcoming to lgbti people. The reality is that no church is without any flaws though.

If you are in Melbourne I can give you better information about churches if I know what suburb you live in and if you are in another city then I can connect you with others that can assist you.

I would also suggest you seek connections from a variety of supports and that way you will have other options if you need them 🙂

Our monthly chapter meetings are a great way to meet people from lots of different backgrounds and for those who may attend a church you can ask them, firsthand, about their experiences, some of who have experienced ex-gay program's.

It's terrific that you have taken the time to join in on our forum. You might like to look at our resources, articles and others stories might also be helpful 🙂

As Ann Maree mentioned you can private message me if you like.

Warm regards

Michelle

jess-93
 
Joined in 2013
June 5, 2013, 17:50

Thanks Sapphire Rose. It's great to see someone working hard to get the message out there, and improve things for LGBT people.


Ann Maree and Michelle, I'll message you 🙂

bigbird88
 
Joined in 2013
October 24, 2013, 16:52

Hi Jess-93


Thank you for sharing your story, we all want and need acceptance and validation, and I can speak from my own experience when I say that we often learn the hard way that that very acceptance and validation we need is not always available. If I can give you any advice at all it would be this:

The best present you can ever give yourself is to be honest with yourself, and to accept yourself just the way you are. As someone who spent 12 years (almost half of my life) not being honest with myself, and not accepting myself, I can truly say that this is the best thing you will EVER do for yourself.


Take care, hugs and prayers from The Big Bird (aka Joel)
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